I am sorry to have been such a drain on everyone. I won’t be a problem anymore.
All this mess with politics has been really affecting me. It’s taking more of a toll than I had realized. I’m letting it make me angry, resentful, hateful, and give the appearance that I support things that I do not. I don’t like the person I’m turning into. I don’t like arguing with friends. I don’t like arguing with strangers. I hate the way I feel. I hate the stress. This has to stop before there’s no way out.
I do not support Trump, and I never will. But I will focus only on the issues that matter most to me – our national parks and public lands, protecting animals, protecting the environment, renewable energies, and reversing climate change. I trust that others will carry on the fight for the myriad of other important causes. These are the ones on which I’m choosing to focus. I will contain my social media posts to those areas and work to be a positive voice for them – instead of this negative, angry one that is starting to scare me.
As Michelle Obama – a person I greatly admire – said, “When they go low, we go high.” I will try to be mindful to practice Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements” – be impeccable with your words; don’t take things personally; don’t make assumptions; and always do your best.
Apologies for the improper punctuation.
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve written anything here. The reason is that I’m really busy living my new life. Yes! It can happen and does. No, it’s not the life I wanted or expected to have, but it’s not a horrible life. It’s just different. I don’t know what it will become, but right now, it’s college classes, work, my dog, my family, my friends, some traveling, some thinking about moving and thinking about more traveling. It’s full, and it’s falling into a rhythm I can be ok in.
I’d still trade every last blessed bit of it for just five minutes with my husband. That never goes away. Ever.
So, yeah. I haven’t written in awhile, and the truth is that I really haven’t needed to write (vent). I’m actually a generally happy girl these days. I finished one semester in art school with an A- for the semester. I got on an airplane and went to Hawaii for a week – my first time EVER to fly. And I’ve gotten my house in better shape. I gave a ton of stuff to a charity to be distributed in Oklahoma. I’m getting along better with my family. My job is going well – very busy. And I just transferred to another art school and start classes on Monday. I’m sleeping better at night. I miss J every day, but I don’t cry all the time or feel so depressed. I’m eating better and losing weight. I feel more confident and less concerned about what anyone else thinks.
I’m pretty happy in this new normal. Even if I could have my J back, I think he’d have to fit himself into this normal. I’ve changed too much to go back. I like me now – warts and all. And I like the way my life is heading.
Life is pretty good.
Why do people insist on continuing to argue their point when they’ve been irrefutably proven wrong?
That perplexes me — and also makes me quite angry.
I actually feel physically nauseated when commercials for Christian Mingle, Eharmony and Match show up on my tv.
I spend a ridiculous amount of time nauseated.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
Lots of us walk it everyday – and we’re not afraid. You’ll be able to do it too on the day you have to join us.